Review: The Ham, Cheese, and Tomato Sandwich

I know what you're thinking: Is the Ham, Cheese and Tomato Sandwich a daring subsitute for Ham and Bread, or just a wussy french cop-out?

Well, it isn't for purists, thats for sure. If you like your cigarettes freshly rolled, and chocolate products powdered and snorted, then you damn sure wouldn't want cheese and tomato overpowering the oral poetry of your ham. But then again, if you can add two other food groups to your meal, then go for your life tiger.

My verdict: This sandwich is a perfect for dinner, but a bit "oooh look at me I have cheese woooh" for lunch. And if you turn up to a table full of roast duck, steamed vegetables, and pie, and happily eat a Ham, Cheese and Tomato Sandwich in front of whoever just wasted a good portion of their day (and probably life) cooking you dinner, then i take my hat off to you. That is committment. And that is what i'm looking for in all of you.

Go forth, and wreck your personal lives, my children. And if you happen to sport any bruises from encounters with any non-believers perhaps from the scenario above, or maybe some christians, jews or muslims who sense you have found something higher to worship than their gods, be sure to send in pictures. And just know that you suffered in the name of Ham and Bread. And they are the only gods worth internal haemorrhaging for.